4 secrets for upgrading your next vacation travel

Problem: Predatory cruise lines
Back in the days of the “Love Boat”, a floating vacation was an all-inclusive experience. Today, the love’s gone — and so is the “all-inclusive.” Cruise lines, like airlines, have discovered so-called “ancillary” revenues. They hand you a drink at the welcome reception — sign here, please. You want bottled water in your room? That’ll be an extra $6.95. You’d like to eat in a specialty restaurant? A $20 fee will be added to your bill. It doesn’t take long for you to realize that the low cruise fare was just a way to lure you on board. Now that you’re trapped at sea, it’s time to give your credit card a workout. (If you ever wonder what it’s all about, get up early on the last day of your cruise and watch people settling up at the front desk. You’ll see a lot of disappointed passengers.) The cruise experience is well on its way to becoming a massive bait-and-switch operation.

Solution: Find a good agent, but do your homework
A competent travel agent is an excellent resource for planning a cruise vacation, but don’t rely on one exclusively. Instead, research the kind of cruise you want before visiting a travel counselor. Some upscale cruises such as Seabourn’s, are far more “all-inclusive” with tips and alcoholic beverages part of your fare. Have a cruise line and a destination in mind, and more importantly, know what you don’t want. Then ask a cruise agent for help. (Keep in mind that cruise agents take a commission of around 10 percent of your booking.) A good agent can prevent an avaricious cruise line that’s just trying to get inside your pocket from broadsiding you. Plus, travel agents can ensure you don’t end up on a singles cruise for your 20th wedding anniversary.

Problem: Hotels that hate us
You’ve probably checked into one of these properties before: The place is falling apart. The proprietor is a dead ringer for Basil Fawlty, the cranky innkeeper in the 1970s British sitcom, Fawlty Towers. You feel entirely unwelcome. If you’d only known about this disaster beforehand. Unfortunately, the number of these hotels appears to be on the rise, and unlike the TV show, they’re no laughing matter. One night in a dump like this can leave you wishing for a quick end to your vacation. Bad hotels don’t just take their guests for granted, they prey on them with poorly-disclosed surcharges like “resort fees” and mandatory gratuities. They barely tolerate our presence, and when we have the audacity to complain about something, they shrug us off.

Solution: Get social
Use social media to find — and punish — the worst properties. When it comes to hotels, the Internet is by far the most effective way to avoid a troubled hotel. Despite the best efforts of these awful hotels, it’s impossible to hide from an angry public. Sites like TripAdvisor, Twitter and Facebook let them name names. Don’t stay at a property that hasn’t been vetted by the Internet. (It’s true that hotels — both good and bad — try to influence social media, but their efforts have a minimal effect.) Bottom line? If your hotel checks out online, chances are you’ll have a good stay.

It’s a shame that I have to write a column like this. Travel should be getting better, not worse. But as basic principles of customer service get pushed aside by people with titles like “revenue manager” and “vice president for analytical systems” there is no other way.

If you don’t act now, you’ll get downgraded.